Cold Promises
by black7kunoichi
Summary: She wondered if she even mattered to him anymore. Lucy goes through hard times trying to understand her relationship with Natsu. Although he had been currently occupied with meeting with his childhood friend, Lisanna, her heart still remains strong until she just couldn't do it anymore. Her memories replaying the past again. Mention of suicide but happy ending. NALU Modern Fanfic


**Hi guys,**

 **Yes, I'm back.** **If yall want an update on my absence, please check out my other story "Fallen Angels" - everything is explained there. I'm sorry for the MIA vibe. But you deserve to know. I can't be bothered re-teyping everything on all my new stories that I will be releasing so to save me the time and energy, please go to that story.**

 **Oh, the words in italics are flashback conversations. So hopefully that would clear things up.**

 **Please enjoy.**

* * *

She wondered if she even mattered to him anymore.

Lucy Heartfilia pressed her palms into her mouth to muffle the screams that escaped the pillow. It was just too hard for her to process. The tears that fell past her face only momentarily warmed her cheeks before the cold air whipped against her face again.  
They weren't perfect. They argued a lot over the little things but somehow, they would always make it up to each other in no time. However, it wasn't as such this time around.  
It was a cold December. The apartment had be thrown into chaos from everything that she once thought. Downstairs, her boyfriend had just invited his childhood friend for dinner and they had just argued in their room before she had arrived. Natsu Dragneel – he was her life line when she was going through hard times, and unfortunately, he was now the reason why she was having such a hard time.  
She could hear them laughing and talking below where she sat. She had been cooped up inside the room for so long, that she lost track of the time.

Her anger dissipated and was replaced with sadness. Ever since Lisanna Strauss, his childhood best friend, had arrived back into Magnolia two weeks ago, she was constantly pushed to the side for the white-haired girl. Lucy honestly loved the girl to bits but there were so many times, she had reached out for him. Only to be turned away without hesitation. It seemed as if he didn't want Lucy involved with their plans.

Her body moved on its own and she realized that her hands had reached for her duffel back. Her hands moved swiftly, packing just a few clothes and stocking on some bathroom necessities before putting on her shoes, grabbing her jacket and escaping through the window. She needed to breathe. Some fresh air to clean the depressing cloud looming inside her head. She needed to clear her thoughts so she can think appropriately for what she needs to do next. This time, the tears fell freely as the blonde walked out in the cold during the festive season. Couples and families surrounded her like a cold reminder of what could've been for her.

"Levy, I'm coming over."

 **"Do you want me to pick you up? Tell me where you are now."** There was a slight pause as Lucy looked up to the falling snow. For once, she was glad that her blue-haired friend didn't question why. It was always an automatic yes.

"I need time. I'll walk over once I'm ready."

 **"Okay. Just let me know if you change your mind and need to be picked up."** The girl offered her thanks before hanging up.

Stumbling across a bridge that overlooked the water canals, the blonde girl stopped and turned, leaning over the brick edges and staring emptily across the icy water. Noting the shells of ice at the edges.

* * *

Two weeks ago, Natsu had deliberately cancelled all their lunch dates and morning breakfast so he could meet with Lisanna. For starters, Lucy didn't mind until his absence started from leaving early in the morning and arriving back late at night. Every time she questioned how his day went, he would brush her off. That was until he wouldn't arrive back at all. He would seldom pop in, shower and leave abruptly without saying anything. She would just lie in their bed, watching as he emerged out of the shower and leave silently. Of course, Lucy watched from the bed. Just watching in the dark whilst he slip into fresh clothes and exit the apartment once more.

The next time, Natsu had made plans to take Lisanna to the local carnival. Of course, Lucy also lingered with them since she was very interested in these kinds of things, also going on the memories that she had with Natsu at the same carnival. Of course, it was two girls and one guy. As she had excused herself to head to the bathrooms, finishing her business and heading back, she caught the little conversations on her way back. Talking about how the two beside the fishing booth looked cute. Raising her head, her brown orbs absorbed the scene before her. Natsu, her boyfriend, laughing as he held a bag of goldfish and offering it to the white-haired girl, who giggled at this action and took the bag with a word of thanks.  
They did look cute. If she hadn't even known, she would've easily mistaken them as one.  
Heading back, she told Natsu that she wasn't feeling too well and would take the lead home. He looked at her worryingly before asking if she's okay. Mustering up a forced smile, the blonde smiled in response. Not trusting her voice to croak.

At one point, she was given two tickets for a vacation out in the city with all expenses paid. The company that she worked for decided that she needed to get away from there and enjoy the festive season elsewhere, namely because she deserved it. Ecstatic, Lucy rushed home after work and found Natsu and Lisanna playing games. She asked to talk to him but he pushed her request to the side, saying he was busy. After getting him alone briefly as he headed for the kitchen for a snack, she told him what she had received for work. Without missing a beat, he told her congratulations and invite Levy so they both could go on the trip as he was too busy with Lisanna.

It was always putting Lisanna first.

Every time she did something wrong, he'd always compared her to the white-haired beauty. And trying to pretend that it had no effect was the hardest for Lucy.

Imagine the shock when Lucy discovered that they used to have a thing back in high school, before Lucy met Natsu. Knowing this fact, the blonde girl suddenly felt the insecurities bubble up within her. Maybe those feelings in the past. Maybe they are re-kindling those feelings. Is that why she has been kept so much in the dark? Nevertheless, there was still a small fire of hope that burned within her, encouraging her broken soul that he still loved her. With that in mind, she placed whatever trust she had left in Natsu and just braced it all with a smile.

Then Lucy had the last straw just two nights ago, she had been followed by some crooks to the market. It had begun to rain crazily as she saw the supermarket in view. Happily getting into the shelter of the supermarket of bright lights, she fished out her phone and dialed Natsu's number almost automatically, only for it to ring a couple of times before he picked up.

 _"Natsu! Please come and get me. I've been followed. And I'm scared. Please. I'm really scared-"_

 ** _"…Lucy. Just wait for a bit then come home."_**

 _"Natsu. I'm scared. Please. I'm so scared."_

 ** _"... I'm busy."_**

Lucy remembered it all. The memories overflowed like a gushing dam and the thought brought back painful pasts. She did as he instructed. She waited for a good hour before walking out and just as she rounded the last corner before reaching her building, she was grabbed by many hands. Faces of men that she had not seen before. Her fear doubled and the anxiety inside her caused her mind to go into frenzy. They were clumsy but strong. She screamed his name. Holding her by all limbs and holding her down on the dirty walk path. She screamed his name. They already ripped her blouse off. Her bra was already thrown somewhere. She screamed his name. Their filthy hands grabbed her mounds and another pair was already tugging her skirt down before a flashlight landed on them with guns.

It was Sting Eucliffe. A close friend of Lucy since high school. He had immediately gotten the thugs off her with his comrades from the police force and tugged his coat off, wrapping it gently around the shaking blonde and carrying her away from it all. He placed her in his jeep, rolled the heater on and offered some coffee that he had just purchased before recognizing the blonde on the street. Needless to say, he was beyond furious when Lucy told him what Natsu had told her.

Lucy spent the night at Sting's house. It was large and warm. Like he was. He offered her the guest room and brought spare clothes from his closet for her to use. She didn't stop crying though. She thanked him profusely, without stopping and hiccupped now and then to remind him that she was grateful for his help.

When Sting drove Lucy back the next day, it was all smiles and laughs until Natsu opened the door on the third knock looking tired and disheveled – shirtless. His eyes zoomed back to Lucy and frowned. But just as quickly, Sting had lunged a punch to the pink-haired teen, demanding the teen to look after Lucy. It was too much and the worry on Natsu's face appeared. Sting was in the middle of yelling at Natsu until Lisanna had stepped behind Natsu wearing one of Natsu's shirts.

 _"Son of a bitch." Sting said coldly, reaching forward and covering Lucy's eyes with his palms, feeling the tears beneath his fingers._

 _"Don't fucking touch my girlfriend." Natsu hissed, reaching forward and grasping Lucy's arm. Just as quickly, Sting covered Lucy's eyes with his forearm and used the other to hit Natsu's grip off Lucy._

 _"Don't give me that bullshit, Dragneel. What the fuck is going on with you and Lisanna?"_

 _The white haired girl looked up in surprise. "It's not like that. We didn't-"_

 _"Nothing, fuckwit. It rained last night so she couldn't go back. Couldn't fit any of Lucy's clothes so I gave her mine." There was a moment of silence before the blonde police officer gritted his teeth, Natsu roamed his eyes over Lucy before suddenly taking note of her appearance._

 _"Talk shit about someone else, Eucliffe. She's wearing your shirts."_

 _"She needed you, Natsu. Where the fuck where you? She needed you the most last night and you fucking told her you were busy. What the fuck where you busy with? She got handled by five grown men, Natsu. Five!" Silence ensued the four that stood at the door entrance before Sting slowly removed his hands from her eyes before placing it assuredly on the blonde's shoulders. "She screamed your name Natsu. She screamed your name while fighting tooth and nail with five rapists."_

 _"She was scared, Natsu. How could you brush something like fear so casually to the side?" There was no response before he turned Lucy to face him,_

 _"If this dickhead does anything stupid like this, don't hesitate to call me. I'll give him a restraining order." His eyes drifted to Natsu, "Don't fuck this up, Dragneel."_

After that, Lisanna had left shortly when Sting left. That's when the fight began. That's when everything that she kept holding in just tumbled away. Broken and confused. They hadn't spoken to each other early afternoon until the early evening.

"Is there something going on, Natsu? Just tell me."

"I've told you Lucy. There's nothing going on. We've just been catching up and playing games."

"Natsu – please, you've been really busy and I feel that you're leaving-"

"I don't want to deal with this. Lisanna's coming over for dinner." He said simply. Leaving the room and heading downstairs. As soon as she heard the front door open downstairs, that's when the anger and hurt filled her eyes with tears and fall. Her screams wanting to escape. A thought crossed her mind when he left.

He never said he was worried for her last night.

* * *

The snow had built some sort of shape on her jacket when Lucy snapped out of her reverie. The tears that had fallen had frozen on her cheeks so the blonde wiped them away. She had to head over to Levy's before it got too cold. Her brown eyes looked down to the water below that hadn't been frozen yet. The movement has the wind blew over water sent ripples. No one would miss her. Right now, her boyfriend was spending his time with his childhood best friend. All her friends were spending time with their loved ones. She stared in the water. She missed her mom and dad. This time, Lucy really felt alone as she tugged her jacket over her body for warmth. There was literally no one around anymore. Even where she was now. No one was roaming the streets and the water below looked just as lonely as she did.

It was as if her mind lost control of her senses. Her shoulders tugged off the duffel back and dropped the material on the ground with a soft thud. She reached into her pocket, grabbed her phone and pressed a few buttons before placing it close to her lips. The ringtone automatically went to voicemail. Wow. No surprise there.

"Hi Natsu. I hope you're doing okay. I hope that dinner was light and plentiful. It was good to back home. Well, I might be a bit late tonight. So please don't wait up for me. I just stumbled on something so I'll take a while. I'm sorry for causing such a commotion yesterday. I'm sorry that we argued." Somehow, the lump inside Lucy's throat formed and it got incredibly hard to talk,

"You know. I'm sorry that we argue a lot. If you regret us being together, please go on without me. I don't want to hold you back. I'm sorry that I can't be who you want me to be, with all my imperfections and all my flaws. I'm sorry you had to brace it all. I'm sorry that you got stuck with me." Lucy paused,

"It hurts. Loving you the way I do, it hurts. And I'm happy that I at least, got to experience love, unfortunately, I'm not quite lucky with love. I'll let you go though, I need to go now. Oh," Lucy hesitated. "I love you so much, Natsu." There was a brief moment of forced giggles.

"I love you so damn much, Natsu, you get me fired up." She said with a genuine laugh. Bringing back memories of when he confessed to her just like that. Then withdrawing the phone with a click, she dropped it on her back before climbing to the edge. Eyes closed. Deep breath. The sounds around her quiet down.

"I'm coming home, Mom. Dad." And she took a step forward.

The last thing she remembered was being cold and then being wrapped by warmth. She smiled as someone called out her name.  
She was home.

* * *

The crackling sound of burning firewood beside her suddenly woke her up with a lazy focus. As her brain tried processing the things around her, nothing seemed out of place until her vision cleared and zoomed into the details of where she was. It was in the living room of the apartment. She was leaning backwards on top of something. Her entire body was covered with warm blankets and minks. Her brown eyes caught sight of her belongings beside the door. Her bag on the ground and her phone on the kitchen table. Her wet clothes beside the washing room. Feeling a bit sluggish, the blonde made a move to sit up but a tight hold around her waist held her down.

"Natsu? What-"

"I was scared." A voice muffled into her hair and she moved her head to the side and was met eye to eye with Natsu. His dark olive green eyes focused on hers without wavering for the slightest second.

"I'm sorry Luce. For making you feel that way. But I do promise, that there was nothing going on. I've just been so caught up with Lisanna and catching up with her that I didn't know that I was treating you a certain way. Lucy." He kissed her hair. "Please don't think that I hate you. Please don't think that I don't worry for you. Please don't apologize for something that you didn't do." He kissed her again.

"I know what I've done was wrong and horrible. And for that, I'll make it up to you. Although we fight, although we argue so much, I wouldn't have it any other way. Because I chose you Lucy. All of you. We might not be perfect but that's who we are. Only we know what it is."

"Natsu…. I'm just not good enough. I'm just not enough for you. Lisanna-"

"Don't ever think for a second that I don't want you in my life. Lisanna and I may have a past but you, Lucy Heartfilia, you and I have a future together. And I won't take no as an answer. When Sting brought you back, I wanted to grab you in my arms. I was worried. Lisanna and I were looking for you after you called. I told you I was busy because I didn't want to scare you enough as I was. I was terrified. And when he brought you home, I hated myself. I felt that I didn't deserve you. I had let you down and I'm just a damn bastard for letting that happen. But you came back to me. I was happy and scared at the same time."

"Natsu – please, it's not-"

"I love you, Lucy. Don't ever think for a second that I don't. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me."

"Always."

* * *

Shortly after Lucy fell asleep again, Natsu kissed her before embracing her tightly. Knowing that it would've been seconds before he would be holding a dead body. As he sat with Lisanna earlier, she had to go back to her apartment as her boyfriend needed her urgently. They had spoken briefly about the blonde girl. In which Lisanna had lectured him fully of swaying his attention and that he needed to mend their relationship as soon as possible. Packing up the dishes, the pink-haired teen placed them on the cabinet before heading upstairs to where he left Lucy, wondering why she didn't head down for dinner. In his hands was her share that he had purposefully placed aside for the blonde, as he opened the door after a knock, the plate that he was holding dropped.

"Shit." He cursed, as he eyes the clothes that had been scattered on the bed and the duffel bag on top of the closet was missing. Kicking his feet into his converses and tugging his jacket on before running out on the streets. He had called Levy and asked if she was there but the blue-haired refused and said that the blonde wanted to walk and spend some time alone. Running around, his fingers dialed her number again and another tone rang again, saying he had a missed message whilst he was talking with Levy. Recognizing the received number, he listened to it.

 _"Hi Natsu. I hope you're doing okay. I hope that dinner was light and plentiful. It was good to back home. Well, I might be a bit late tonight. So please don't wait up for me. I just stumbled on something so I'll take a while. I'm sorry for causing such a commotion yesterday. I'm sorry that we argued."_

 _"You know. I'm sorry that we argue a lot. If you regret us being together, please go on without me. I don't want to hold you back. I'm sorry that I can't be who you want me to be, with all my imperfections and all my flaws. I'm sorry you had to brace it all. I'm sorry that you got stuck with me."_

 _"It hurts. Loving you the way I do, it hurts. And I'm happy that I at least, got to experience love, unfortunately, I'm not quite lucky with love. I'll let you go though, I need to go now. Oh, I love you so much, Natsu."_

 _"I love you so damn much, Natsu, you get me fired up." She laughed._

The fear within his heart pounded as he turned to a corner and just briefly saw her standing at the ledge with her eyes closed. Without hesitating, she took a step forward and Natsu forced his legs to run faster. As he neared the brick ledge, he tugged off his coat and leaped into the water after her. He couldn't see anything in the dark waters and it was freezing cold. Even though his head stung with the coldness, his body screamed for warmth, he willed his way into the waters, searching for her. Briefly catching a glimpse of golden strands, he swam towards her and hulled her up to the surface, gently putting her on the banks before heaving himself out and rushing to her side. He leaned his ears to listen for any signs of a heartbeat.  
Nothing.  
Her face was deathly blue and her lips was purple – her skin looked lifeless without the blood circulating within under her skin. He pressed his palms onto her chest and performed CPR on her. It was no use. There was no response.

 _"Come on, Lucy. Come back to me." He begged, pressing her chest a few times and breathing into her mouth. Leaning again down on her chest but still not hearing anything._

 _"Luce… you can't just leave me. Come on, Luce. Come back to me." He begged. Leaning down again and taking her mouth, breathing air into her windpipes. His vision was starting to blur. He couldn't tell if it was because his face was still dripping form the water or his tears were falling._

 _"Please Luce, you can do it. Come back to me, baby. Come back to me." Natsu really couldn't tell if he was crying. His face was soaked and he was really cold. He leaned down to her chest, straining his ears to hear a beat. It was quiet. But it was there. He still heard it. She was alive._

 _"Come on Luce. Damn it Lucy. Breath. Come on. Breath for me, please." He muttered desperately. As he breath some air into her, and leaned back to continue his presses, she choked out water and he immediately turned her on the side so that the water can escape. The relief washed over Natsu and he squeezed her into his arms_.

 _"Lucy…" And she smiled._

Natsu grabbed his coat and their stuff before wrapping her with it and carrying her home. Ignoring the onlookers, he was just happy that she was back alive. He ignored the many offers of ringing for medical assistance. No. He knew exactly where she should be.  
At home.  
He placed her on the couch beside the fire in the living room, and changed her clothes, placing numerous minks and blankets on top of her to keep warm before changing his own clothes as well and picking her up again into his arms before settling beside the fire.

He loved her so much.

If she felt like that again, he was more than happy to jump into cold waters for her and remind her once more again that she mattered the utmost world to him above anything else.

* * *

 **Yeaaaaaaahhhh unfortunately, this is fanfiction and I'm in real life. And honest to who, reality sucks a lot. In the romance aspect. I dare anyone up in here to prove me wrong. -hinthint- kiddang. Well, that's another one shot done.  
**

 **Thanks guys!**

 **B7K**


End file.
